I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am naked and annoyed.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
