im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
