I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
