She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I would fuck him just for his dog
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
