she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
