I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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