I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize