and you said cock pushups were impossible
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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