My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it's like heaven, but drunker
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
