If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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