so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize