no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
