Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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