oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
