I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize