Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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