Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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