what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
