So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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