I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
