Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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