i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
