I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
