I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
