its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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