i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
