She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
