It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
