she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
