ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
