IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just found a bag of teeth...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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