pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
