Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
