At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
