Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
