Whod you bang
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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