You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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