The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
