Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
one two three fourrrrnication!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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