i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
