Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wish my penis had a tongue
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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