So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
