We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
