What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
