I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize