That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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