I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
