Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
