We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All the doctor said was why
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
