dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
