Sry I called you an 8
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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