Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Randomize
