I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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