I want to have your abortion
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize