I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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