Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
