We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
