did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We need a shit load of segways right now
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
