So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
