FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize