just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
