I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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