You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
