you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
