my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
