I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
