Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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