Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
