wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Its about making memories worth repressing
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
