it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
how does that bad decision feel?
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