I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
