dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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